Keegan the Cat

So it’s about time for another story. 

This one comes from recent years. As part of any delivery service, you get to visit customers on their home turf. They have their house exactly as they want it, they’re comfortable, they have all their toys and animals, and on top of that, you the delivery man is coming in to play Operation with their stuff.

This particular customer I will call Keegan. Names are fake to protect the innocent. Keegan reminded me of a cat. Why?

Let’s go to the evidence!

1.) Cats are shy and most of them are skidding of people. And Keegan was just that-

Upon arrival of said cat home, she wouldn’t let us in. She persisted we not come through her front door and walk around her house to the back…

Her house wasn’t a mansion so, what the heck.

2.) Cats are picky about their stuff. Keegan wanted her toy (dryer) to be hand carried from the truck, aroooooound her house, and into her back room. Nay was it to touch the ground- oh no! May God give us lightning and death upon us should we use a dolly! 

I’m pretty sure she didn’t want us to look at it! It’s like I could hear her growling at us. 

Which brings me to my last point:

3.) Cats hiss.


Yes she hissed at us.

Not just once either.

She hissed at us almost every sentence…

I’m not joking either, and I’m not mistaking it for a stuffy nose, or an involuntary sneeze. She HISSED at us, after making her outrageous demands and crackpot statements. And we’re indeed the CRACK-ist of the POT-ist! She kept calling us liars, and we were doing our job wrong, and to give her stuff because she didn’t have it.

After a grueling half an hour we dropped her dryer in her washroom and left, wiping off two layers of cat hair off our clothes.

Later at the end of the day we relayed this story to our current-workers, our boss included. It was from the mouth of our boss that some pieces of the puzzle were added to our femme feline.

Keegan was certified crazy.

Keegan the cat, would hand in documents written in crayon…

Keegan the cat, unplugged every appliance in the house at night…

Keegan climbed on the sofa and scratched the curtain- okay I made that up, but the rest is true, this came from… her husband! Keegan the cat was married. And he had to come along and cancel a lot of orders Keegan would make. Her dryer delivery just slipped away from him.


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