Whaling Shenanigans

“Primo Shenanigan, why are you posting a picture of a beached whale?”

…you might be asking. If you’re not caught up on bizarre, wacky news, this was widely reported a couple days ago. But I’m here to let you in on the things you’re missing.

Brazil, that one country that appeared in the Mr. Magoo movie, found a beached whale. Scientists are dumbfounded. Why would they be, though?

Well maybe it’s because the whale showed up 50 feet away from shore? Also, it’s a humpback whale, which are rarely, rarely, RARELY seen so far north.

It’s also dead, but they concluded that it died at sea. So it didn’t suffer so harshly when thrown out of the water. The poor thing was young; measured between 26-36 feet. The saddest thing is a bulldozer can’t get into the swamp surrounding the corpse to take it out.

But how did it get there? Did the tides truly get so great as to throw a hefty baby whale so far from shore?

Or…

Teleportation?

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